10 February 2011
Today on Craigslist: Bleeding Heart Liberal TV
I once kept a log of Missed Connections listings for an entire week, categorizing the listings by type (such as: long lost love, booty call, deadbeat dad huntin'), until I realized the quest was futile and I could never keep up.
I even made a series of Craigslist-themed buttons, just in case I wasn't alone in my obsession. Sadly, I think I am, since I haven't sold a single one. Boo!
I used to check Craigslist free listings several times a day, in the hopes of finding fabulous junk I never knew I needed, but after a while, I realized I just didn't have any room left in my house for any junk, no matter how fabulous.
So, yes, my obsession has, like all crushes, faded away, but I still check in from time to time, the same way I might look at an ex's Facebook page just to see if he's gotten fat or bald. I can't help myself.
And, sometimes, I see an ad that calls out to me. Like this one. Sure, I have no use for this "bleeding heart liberal" television, but a part of me sure wishes I did after reading this ad:
"Free 20 inch Pioneer TV. It is old, but it still works. As long as you don't want to watch any channel above 45. My own theory is that since The Fox News Channel is channel 46, it refused to tune past channel 45. I don't know why it won't go above 45. I am just assuming that since this tv is so old and still working, it's probably liberal.
Maybe you want to harvest it for parts. Or turn it into a fish tank. Or take a sledgehammer to it. Maybe you can take it to the State House on tax day for the Tea Party demonstration.
Save it from being buried in a landfill (although we all know that is where it will ultimately wind up). Prove me wrong and turn it into art that lives forever in a museum.
If this tv doesn't find a new home soon, I am afraid it might go and file for section 8.
You let me know when you want to pick it up, and I will lovingly place it out on the curb. If I am going your way, I'll even drop it off to you. Let's figure this out.
I live in Providence, on the Cranston line, off Reservoir Ave. " (link)
This is a Craigslist ad worth remembering, and so I'm starting a new blog feature called Today On Craigslist. When I find an ad that leaves me speechless, whether with laughter, terror, or whateva, I'll share it with you, my dear unknown reader. I hope you are suitably moved.