17 February 2011

Today on Craigslist: Assistant / Stew Meat

Assistant / Stew Meat

Text reads:
"RE:Artist Assistant/Agent Needed. (My Basement)

I will also turn you into stew meat. Please be computer literate and tender."

This ad is in response to a series of ads that have been appearing on Craigslist in the last few weeks. Basically, the person is purporting to be a great artist in a big mansion who needs a little live-in help. Every time I've read one of the ads, I've thought it was creepy, and, apparently, I'm not alone.

Here's the text of the latest ad, that the poster above is responding to:

"First let me describe the situation.

I am a High End Artist. Paintings rannge from 5,000 upwards of 100,000.00 My art is not easy to come by. [eds note: because they are going to be made of your blood.] I do not release works often. [eds. note: lack of victims, erm, assistants.] My Private investors have first dibs. I create portfolios for investors who do not want to risk the stock market. [eds. note: you know, because of the murder and all.] With my system an individual invests x ammount dollars into his account with my firm we then pick the pieces most apropriate for the particular investor. Minimum investments are 25,000. We would rather have investors start with $ 100,000.00 with a two year lock in. 

This is one as[ect of what your duties would include the promoting and planning . Youw ill be my amanda sachs. I will be your everything. I have a live in room avail for the right individual/ .[eds note: don't worry, you won't live there long.].... Please provide a photo so I know you are real. [eds note: I want to make sure you are small and dainty and that I can overpower you.]"

The "I will be your everything" line is particularly spooky! I tried to google Amanda Sachs, since I didn't get the reference, and the best I can figure is that he's referring to the high-profile exec at Microsoft. and not a random college chick with a Facebook page.

Also, I wouldn't trust any "High End Artist" who doesn't include any images of his/her artwork, though I must confess, I am reminded of another consistent Craigslist poster who posts in the arts/crafts for sale section with paintings that are done in blood. One in the same? Let's hope not, but perhaps!


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