17 July 2011

Art Journal: Artist Insecurities

Artist Insecurities

For this page, I started with black&white catalog image. I used Portfolio watersoluble oil pastels to create the green & blue background (inspired by peacock feathers!). Then I used black sumi ink to add the black stripes and details on the girl. I let the ink dry overnight (it can take a while) then journaled with white & black gel pens. I am THRILLED with this page. I wrote about my insecurities as an artist.

Text reads:

I’m not sure why I’m always tempted to buy new art supplies, when I already have such lovely supplies at home.  Part of it, I’m sure, stems from my insecurities as an artist. I don’t have a degree in art, and I’ve actually only taken a handful of art classes. I’ve always been into art, but I was always good in academics so art wasn’t even suggested, except to fill a requirement.
I signed up for one art class in high school, but everyone stared at me when I sat down, like why was a geek trying to be an artist? I left before class even started.
In college I took 2-D design. I was terrible. Everything I made was ugly and painstaking but everyone else did beautiful work. What I didn’t consider was that most of them had taken art all through high school, but I was brand new. I should have been gentle with myself, but instead I decided that I sucked at art.
I didn’t sign up for another class until the metalsmithing class I took in 2007. It sucked. The teacher was very talented, but the class had no structure so I felt completely and utterly lost. Still I tried. When it came time to order metal for our final project, I was totally broke so I ordered the cheapest thing in the catalog: 50 tiny punched disks of silver that were supposed to be $10.
I didn’t know it was an old catalog. The price ended up being $100 + $17 express shipping. I couldn’t pay it and I was mad / embarrassed. I gave the metal back and never went back to class.
Since I’ve been an art failure so many times, it’s weird to adjust to maybe being good at it. Really, I just love it so I practice all the time. If I didn’t love it, I’d never stick it out.

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  1. i really like how well this turned out moira! did you dip your paint brush into the ink, or use a nib? that would be a great technique to teach (hint-hint) ;)


  2. Teddi, I used a brush with the best pointy edge I could find. I have a nib somewhere around here, but I knew I'd never find it in time to catch the wave of inspiration I was riding at the time. ;c)


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